“waiting for my cappuccino”

written by Dan Reeder

I've been waiting

For my cappuccino

Since 1969

And I'm beginning to suspect

The waitress forgot me

That guy over there

Has only been here for a yea

And he just got dinner

For his whole family

If i were Jesus

"I command this

Dump to wither

Board its doors and windows

Forever."

“you’ll never surf again”

written by Dan Reeder

I went to the doctor

The doctor said "Sit down, I got some bad news"

Said "Put your pants back on, tie up those shoes"

When I braced myself for the worst

I knew this could mean the end

He said "You'll never, ever, ever, surf again"

Never surf again

Said "I tell you as your doctor, and as your friend"

Take a few days off and let this sink in"

But I knew from the first that a dream had come to an end

You'll never, ever, ever, surf again

Never surf again

My dream on Rincon, Bonzaii, Pipeline, and Waimea Bay

From one second to the next, just faded away

But then, nothing you can do when the doctor say

"You'll never, ever, ever, surf again"

Never surf again

“i drink beer”

written by Dan Reeder

a man who'd wish you'd be careful

met the man who just didn't care

they went to the house

of the man or a mouse

and met the mailman there

a man with a plan

a man on a mission

a man who could do no wrong

they all stood around in the kitchen

and sang the following song

i drink beer to improve my mind

end the the war

help mankind

through these dark and trying times

hey batter batter batter hey batter hey

swing batter swing

hey, swing away

swing for the fence

live for today

put your life in Jesus hands

shut your eyes just as tight as you came

and swing like a man like a man like a man

i drink beer to boost retail sales

save those dolphins

save those whales

i drink beer for the revolution

hey batter batter batter hey batter hey

swing batter swing hey, swing away

swing for the fence

live for today

put your life in Jesus hands

shut your eyes just as tight as you came

and swing like a man like a man like a man

cuz

we are men

men we shall we remain

we shall remain

until we go home

we are men

men we shall we remain

we shall remain

until we go home

“bach is dead and gone”

written by Dan Reeder

He don't go to parties

And he's never home

He don't answer emails

And he don't come to the phone

It seemed like I saw him

He's just a pile of bones

Bach is dead and gone

Left to the body

Straight right to the chin

He went down in the third round

And just never got up again

It was a sad day in a bad way

For a great career again

Bach is dead and gone

While he was still livin'

He was one fast gun

I said let's write some more tets

He was already done

But you can't mourn him forever

Forever's just no fun

Bach is dead and gone

He don't go to parties

And he's never home

He don't answer emails

He don't come to the phone

It seemed like if you saw him

He's just a pile of bones

Bach is dead and gone

“you should have wrote a book”

written by Dan Reeder

Three shots rang out from a flat from neighboring building

As i dove and roll i was thinking about pulling my .45

A galvanized steel gun that you can't buckle wth out reading

Milky water probably saved my life

I emptied a clip into the direction of my would be assassins

Left a fist size divet in the sand stone facade

I saw the chick run and another one i didn't recognize

I knew they wouldn't miss again i better run

If I want to get out of this town alive

Damn, you should have wrote a book

I abandoned the Corvette on the bad side of Bombay

I knew in a half hour the car would be stripped to go

Well damn thing never ran like it was supposed to anyways

And they've been tracking me since I left Saigon

And a recorded message came on the two way

It said the fat man was gonna jump

But it didn't say when

The checked out on the outskirts of town

You know the bad guys always

And the good guys always win

Damn, you should have wrote a book

“shoot me to the moon”

written by Dan Reeder

Shoot me to the moon

I guess I ought to just disappear

I can't go home and I can't stay here

So shoot me to the moon

Shoot me to the moon

Bah bum hah bum bum da dum

So shoot me to the moon

Shoot me to the moon

I guess I ought to just disappear

I can't go home and I can't stay here

So shoot me to the moon

Shoot me to the moon

Oh shoot me to the moon

Shoot me to the moon

I guess I ought to just disappear

I can't go home and I can't stay here

So shoot me to the moon

Shoot me to the moon

“99 friends of mine”

written by Dan Reeder

99 friends of mine

All wearing the blackest clothes they could find

On a warm and sunny afternoon

And if you dont party the black mask

And a anothers on the wall

All wonder which friend

Would be the next to fall

99 friends of mine

All wearing the blackest clothes they could find

On a warm and sunny afternoon

99 friends of mine

All wearing the blackest clothes they could find

On a warm and sunny afternoon

Standing around a hole in perfect cloth

And all along home forever come

99 friends of mine

All wearing the blackest clothes they could find

On a warm and sunny afternoon

“beautiful”

written by Dan Reeder

Peggy's on the phone with her feet up on the wall

Connie's with a friend at a shopping mall

Claus needs to told again not to play ball in the living room

And how to little girls know to sit that way

And what do you do at the mall all day

And I know you can't go out play ball today because of the snow

And I am not you and you are not me

But i can look at you and know you see what I see

And sometimes you're just beautiful, just beautiful

Sometimes you are beautiful to me

Jehovah's Witness tag team came by today

I started preaching and they just got up and went away

I can't find a friend today anywhere but here at home

And I am not you and you are not me

But i can look at you and know you see what I see

And sometimes you're just beautiful, just beautiful

Sometimes you are beautiful to me

Peggy's on the phone with her feet up on the wall

Connie's with a friend at a shopping mall

Claus is being told again not to play ball in the living room

And how to little girls know to sit that way

And what do you do at the mall all day

And I know you can't go out play ball today because of the snow

And I am not you and you are not me

But I can look at you and know you see what I see

And sometimes you're just beautiful, just beautiful

Sometimes you are beautiful to me

“cowboy song”

written by Dan Reeder

When a cowboy says women he means two different kinds

There's the real kind and then there's the kind in his mind, and

The real kind is a mystery that he can't understand

But the mind kind he knows like the palm of his hand

Oh the mind kind he knows like the palm of his hand

So up get along doggy

Little doggy get along

The nights are the prairie are lonely and long

And he'll camp down in the canyon

The moon lights the land

And he'll meet that old lady that he understands

Oh he'll meet that old lady that he understands

So Buck get your fiddle and play me that song

About the two kinds of women and the nights that are long, and

Camp down in the canyon, ladies so fine

And the one about how cowboys jack off all the time

Oh the one about how cowboys jack off all the time

And it's up get along doggy

Little doggy get along

The nights on the prairie are lonely and long

And old Buck loves to play

'Cause buck knows it's true

You know deep in his heart he's the damn cowboy too

I guess deep in our hearts we're all damn cowboys too

So up get along doggy

Little doggy get along

The nights are the prairie are lonely and long

And we'll camp down in the canyon

The moon lights the land

And meet there the ladies that we understand

Oh we'll meet there the ladies that we understand

“pussy titty”

written by Dan Reeder

Oh, pussy-titty, pussy-titty

And boom-titty-boom

Who wrote all the jokes on the wall in the men's room?

Well I know it wasn't me and it couldn’t been you

Cause all the jokes you know I know too

Hoo-hoo

Oh, pussy-titty, pussy-titty

And boom-titty-boom

Who drew all the pictures on the wall in the men's room?

Well I know it wasn't you, and it mighta been me

How could you draw what you never seen?

Hoo-hoo

Oh, pussy-titty, pussy-titty

And boom-titty-boom

Who put the crack in the soap on the sink in the men’s room?

Well a man is a man, is a man, is a man

If ya pee on your fingers, gotta wash your hands

Hoo-hoo

Oh, pussy-titty, pussy-titty

And boom-titty-boom

Who cast their vote on the wall in the men’s room?

Well I hope to God the word never gets around

That a vote on a men’s room wall don’t count

Hoo-hoo

“pussy heaven”

written by Dan Reeder

Oh the shoes that i wear cost nine cents an hour

Which ain't norwegian union scale but hell you know I'm there

They retire at 20 with a house on a fjord

And when they're out of money they just go and get some more

And if you think it through you'll find as I found

They're just ain't enough pussy heaven to go around

And if all the Chinese hit the brakes at one time

The whole goddamn planet would stop on a dime

And one side would burn up and the other side would freeze

So if you feel the need to pity someone you can pity me

And if you think it through you'll find as I found

They're just ain't enough pussy heaven to go around

And the moral of this story is perfectly clear

While one guy walks, the other sits on daddy's lap and steers

One cup is made of silver and the other's made of clay

The rich don't ever seem to know they're rich anyway

And if you think it through you'll find as I found

They're just ain't enough pussy heaven to go around

And if we all bred ponies and sailed boats across the sea

Imagine for a minute what a mess that would be

Cause who would drive the garabage trucks and who would sing the blues

And how could guys like me afford to buy a pair of shoes?

And if you think it through you'll find as I found

They're just ain't enough pussy heaven to go around

“I don’t really want to talk to you”

written by Dan Reeder

I don't feel comfortable in your comfortable car

And I don't feel quiet in this quiet bar

And I don't really want to talk to you

But my business requires that I do

My tiny squeak on these hardwood floors

And these shoes never used to squeak before

And I don't really want to talk to you

But my business requires that I do

I don't feel comfortable in your comfortable car

And I don't feel quiet in this quiet bar

And I don't really want to talk to you

But my business requires that I do

“all my money”

written by Dan Reeder

All my money

All my money is gone

Dance to the music

All my money

All my money is gone

Tell it to the landlord

All my money

All my money is gone

It goes to God

“just leave me alone today”

written by Dan Reeder

I don't want to be on no TV show

If you know what I mean

Just leave me alone today

I don't want to be on no radio

If you know what I mean

Now just leave me alone today

I don't want to see my picture in the paper

If you know what I mean

Just leave me alone today

“a whiter shade of pale”

written by Gary Brooker, Keith Reid, Matthew Fisher

We skipped a light fandango

Turned cartwheels 'cross the floor

I was feeling kind of seasick

But the crowd called out for more

The room was humming harder

As the ceiling flew away

When we called out for another drink

The waiter brought a tray

And so it was that later

As the miller told his tale

That her face at first just ghostly

Turned a whiter shade of pale

She said there is no reason

And the truth is plain to see

That I wandered through my playing cards

And would not let her be

One of sixteen vestal virgins

Who were leaving for the coast

And although my eyes were open

They might just as well have been closed

And so it was later, As the miller told his tale

That her face at first just ghostly

Turned a whiter shade of pale